Red Rose, Black, Words and Music By Brian McCaskill

Words and Music by Brian McCaskil


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Peace


April 29th, 2003
Well, if you didn't see on the front page, I'm done with this shit. You probably could have guessed that since its been like three weeks since anybody updated, but now its official. Honestly, I don't know if the rest of them are continuing or not, but I'm gone, meaning the upkeep of the site is basically done, either way.

So, after one whole year, the revolution is over. Okay, maybe revolution is a strong word, but the earth did make one full revolution around the sun, so it counts shmucknut. I'd like to think we got a lot acomplished, but then again, I'd like to think the rest of the world will one day realize how horrible the music Madonna makes is as well. You may say I'm a dreamer.

So, we cursed a lot, made fun of a lot of bands, and each other. Offended a few, of course, the few we offended were each other, especially those of us who can't take a joke, cough cough.

Well, its all over now, and if you had half as much reading this site as I did making it, well, then I had twice as much fun as you did.

Since the only people read this are the 3 people I see on a regular basis, see you later, if for some reason I'm mistaken, so long, take care.

April 10th, 2003
To see what is happening in Iraq and then suggest the people there are worse off in any sense of the term than they were under Sadaam is purely ridiculous. By the way, they have found chemical weapons, and now a nuclear weapons grade plutonium stash. Feel free to have your opinion on the war, but you will find it extremely hard to convince me that you are concerned for Iraqi's best interest if you thought it would be alright for Sadaam to stay in power.

So about that protest in Oakland, don't get me wrong, its too bad it came to that. My only problem is that I only found the story in two places, one suggested the police shootings were totally unprovoked, and the other story suggested the protesters were hurling shit at the cops. The first story came from a source who I'm pretty sure wouldn't tell you that protesters were violent if they were, and the other source would say they were violent, even if they weren't. Needless to say, I'm not sure what happened. I'll just say if you protest, you aren't given the right to be violent, nor to abridge others rights, such as going to work. If you are a cop, unless your goal is to make protesters look right, don't shoot them, bad PR.

By the way, I heard the Beastie Boys song, "World Gone Mad," dude, it sucks. I like the Beastie Boys, well their old stuff, but this song is shitty. So is Lenny Kravitz's "We Want Peace" (if you haven't heard it, those are the only lyrics). I know, you'll say I don't like those songs because I'm Pro War, but you'd be wrong. From what I heard of the Pro War Songs, they suck too. Generally I like protest songs better than pro-whatever songs, they are just better, even if I disagree with them, but this war just has a bad crop.

There is this site out there, I won't name, but it is suggesting in a matter of words that POW Lynch who was saved was all staged for TV and for support, if you believe that, and I mean you, don't care who you are, but you, you are a fucking moron, seriously. Not in a funny way, but I would seriously lose most of my respect for you, all, depending on how much I already had.

Well, I admit when I'm wrong, and I was wrong last month. I said the war would end sooner than Leprechaun 4's run in the theaters. Well, the war which is basically over was three weeks, Leprechaun 4 lasted only 2 1/2 weeks in the theaters, but I was close.

Well, its time to go to sleep, sleep well if you can.


April 7th, 2003
It's fucking snowing, it's fucking April and its fucking snowing, fuck.

No more fucking snow, please, pretty fucking please with a fucking cherry on the fucking top.

That moment was inspired by Nico.

So, Tarik Aziz, one of Sadaam's closest regime members, brings the 100 or so Sadaam look alikes together. He tells them he has good news and bad news. The good news is, Sadaam is still alive. But the bad news is, he lost a leg.

Now that joke itself isn't too funny, but the funny thing is I heard it on the radio, and for the next hour, people kept calling in saying they don't get it. And the radio host was so proud of this joke which wasn't that good, so I thought I'd share.

Pearl Jam had a few, (note, few, not hundreds) boos at their first show, which I'm sure you all heard. Now, for or against the war, the troops, or whatever, who was fucking surprised that Eddie Vedder was going to say something about Bush, seriously, the movies my 3 year old niece watches are less predictable. Despite it only being about 2 dozen who left the show, that I feel was the surprising part of the story. Who knows, it was in the encore already, maybe they wanted to beat traffic.

Well, there will be some major changes to the site come May, only a month away, so stay tuned, or don't, do what you will.

April 2nd, 2003
Toms River blows, especially the side roads on RT 166, anybody who likes them blows too.

Peter Arnett was fired from MSNBC, Geraldo was asked to leave Iraq, and some BBC reporter accused the BBC of changing his report around to look anti-war. So, it doesn't look as though the coverage is fair, but its balanced, as its equally slanted towards both sides, hmm.

If you meant to call me today, but instead got Brian, don't ask, but the problem is fixed.

Baseball time is here, I'm starting a pool up for it if anybody wants in.

So here's a joke, what is an Iraqi's idea of a party?

Just sitting around and getting bombed. Get it? Hmm, tastes like, like, well nothing.

Well, no children have been kidnapped in this country in order to force American parents to fight in a war, so I say that makes us better than the Iraq government already, and there's more.

Which I won't get into.

March 24th, 2003
Come on, sing with me.

My trophy has a first name, its O-S-C-A-R, the winner has a last name, its M-A-T-H-E-R-S. Thats right, Eminem has joined the ranks of Phil Collins and Bob Dylan by being honored with an award rarely seen by musical artists, an Oscar, beating out Queen Latifah and Paul Simon. So, now when you talk to Brian, you can ask him what Phil Collins and Eminem and Bob Dylan have in common, he'll be glad you asked.

Well, the Oscars usually have some sort of political statement made at some point during the night. However, with war in the air, most of the attendees with it would be in poor taste and were tight-lipped. Most. Micheal Moore, liberal NRA member who also does documentaries in his spare time, won an Oscar for "Bowling for Columbine." During his acceptance speech he said he did it because he likes non-fiction (I'm paraphrazing) and that we live in ficticious times. Times with ficticious elections, presidents, and reasons for war. He was then booed off stage. This led to the highlight of the night, Steve Martin telling a Teamsters joke (for me at least). Steve Martin said the Teamsters were now helping Micheal Moore into his limo. Good joke Steve, but I never saw Micheal Moore in my life, I wasn't even in California yesterday, I want my lawyer, and shop steward.

Even Susan Sarandon contained herself to just holding up a peace sign with her fingers. That should tell you something.

Well, back to the Oscars, Adrion Brody won for best protrayal of a jew by a non-jew in the Pianist (snicker snicker). He was the only nominee who hadn't already won an Oscar, thereby ensuring he would win. Seems like a good guy though, movie looks insanely boring, and I'm jewish.

When no booing anti-Bush people, the Academy was honoring child molesters. Roman Polansky won an Oscar also for the Pianist (snicker snicker).

Rounding out the other winners, Catherine Zeta Jones for Chicago, that dude from Adaptation (not Nicholas Cage) for Adaptation, Nicole Kidman for The Hours, Lord of the Rings for a few technical awards, and Chicago for best picture and EVERYTHING ELSE. Hell, Chicago won so many awards, even Norah Jones was impressed.

Well, since Micheal Moore brought up the war, I just wanted to respond to Brian's comments about people pro-war. Yes, there are just some truly evil people who like war, and some people are just misinformed. But to suggest that nobody could be informed and for the war is naive, and quite frankly, idiotic. The reason Brian believes people are misinformed is the media, who has always been pro war(sarcasm) doesn't report the truth, or all of the truth. This missing information that would make everybody anti-war Brian is privy to though apparently. Or perhaps we just assume the media is hiding stuff because, well, it is, never because it doesn't support our theory. And, we all know there aren't any journalists who really want to get a good story.

Fact of the matter is, the media truly overhyped the anti-war movement as a percentage of a whole. The % of anti-war people in the country is less than a third of the population, while if you never seen the polls, the media would have you believe it was more. Look, I truly respect anybody who is anti-war, if their stance is based on sound reasoning, which doesn't mean its correct or not, just sound, and many anti-war people I've met have all used sound reasoning. But to totally disregard anothers opinion or stance merely for the fact it is different from your own is downright wrong, and it is what you are accusing your detractors from doing.

Speaking of protests, if you plan on being one of these protesters from blocking traffic, and you block me, I'll ask you once nicely to move, then once urgently to move, then once angrily to move, afterwards you are getting your ass kicked, fair warning. You have the right to protest, not to contain me.

Look, I agree with everybody's right to free speech. I agree Micheal Moore had the right to speak his mind about the war, and I believe the audience had the right to boo him off stage. I believe the Dixie Chicks had the right to talk shit about Bush in England, and I believe their fans had the right to steamroll their albums. I believe Jerry Falwell had the right to say God let 9/11 happen because of gays and femmenists, and I believe people have the right to think he's a fucking lunatic. Convictions don't mean shit if you aren't willing to stand behind them, and take consequences for them. If Ghandi broke down after 3 hours of his hunger strike, it would not have worked, even though he was in the right trying to free a country. If Martin Luther King Jr. was not willing to go to jail for Civil Rights, the progress would not have been as substantial then.

Well, I'm sure most of you tuned out awhile ago, perhaps this was too long, or perhaps you fit into my category of not respecting different opinions, tell yourself whatever you want, and just fucking relax.

March 20th, 2003
War, unh, good god y'all, what is it good for, getting rid of Sadaam.

Sorry about that. Either way, we are in war right now. Well, maybe not, depending on when you are reading this. If things keep going the way they are now, this war might not even last as long as Leprechaun 4's run in the box office did. Now, that's short.

Apparently, three of the four members on this site are protesting this war by not updating the site, shame on you, commies.

Well, on to less controversial news, um, well, who's free on Friday night, because, I can party.

Back to controversial news, since that is all there really is today, the Mayor of Philly, John Street said Philadelphia will tolerate displays of feelings in a reasonable way (protests he means). He then added frankly they will tolerate some that are unreasonable, so if you want to create a ruckus without those pesky cops preventing you from hurting people, Philly is the place to be now, go for it.

Well, we still have about 499,995 people who still have to die in this war for Nelson Mandela, the anti-semite with a heart of gold to be correct on the number of deaths this war will have, we better get working on it.

Well, for or against war, we should all agree it goes as quickly as possible with as few casualties as possible, unless you want to argue with me about that. if you do, fuck yourself.

March 17th, 2003
Red for Valentines Day, green for St. Patricks Day, yes, I'm a fag.

Well, not really.

Java Joint, be there, Brian is back, be there, seriously punk.

There is this guy who wants to impeach George W. Bush, something about war. Either way, apparently both sides of the spectrum are fucking morons who don't give a shit about the country, just their fucking careers. Nobody fucking realizes if you impeach the President, the vice president takes over, your side doesn't get to pick their own. If you consider yourself a liberal, do you really want Dick Cheney as President? Same thing for conservatives, did you really want Gore as President, fucking think before you make an ass of yourself.

War tonight? Maybe.

Well, do what you're going to do, drink your ass for the St. of Patrick, just know at the end of the day, you have three eyes, and Jennifer Anniston has an odd nose.
March 12th, 2003
Alright, back in business. There was a little delay in the site due to a tripod problem, but thats over now.

Well, in the past two weeks, I've only done two things, see Old School and Audioslave. I must say, they were funny and rocked, respectively. Old School is perhaps the funniest film I've seen in the theaters in quite a long time. And its about damn time my people (fraternity people) got some fucking respect in a goddamn movie. Seriously, after Animal House all the movies made us to look like dicks and rapists. For an institution who does up to 90% of the community service for college students, responsible for around 80% of alumni donations, and never receives more than 5% of college aid, you'd think we'd get more respect. So for all those people out there who think they are better than Fraternity People, tell me to my face that I'm a fake person who has to buy his friends, go on.

Man, that was pretty angry for a good movie review.

The other thing I did was see Audioslave, they fucking rocked. They played "I Am the Highway" for the first song in the encore, where Cornell played solo on an acoustic guitar with the rest of the band coming in at the middle of the song. They upset at least one person by not playing "Getaway Car" but it wasn't me, perhaps the best live show I wasn't paid to see, not that I've seen many.

"Is War the Answer?" Well, I'm not sure, but the answer to whether or not you should see this special on MTV is fucking no. It looked okay at first, but there were two major flaws that ruined it. By the way, this show was the forum with Tony Blair. First off, everything somebody "heard" about the war was mentioned, no fact checking. One woman even argued with Tony Blair about his country's own estimates of casualties, as though he wouldn't know what his country officially thought of the war. The second thing was the internet polling. If you ever see a poll, you'll see underneath it something like +/-5% or something like "Not a scientific poll." See, in America you have to publish your polls flaws, such as margin of error, or if its an internet poll, which isn't scientific. I guess you don't have to do this in England because they were passing off an MTV online poll in Europe to represent the view of the entire world, which is quite different.

Um, so don't waste your time watching the show, it blows. Besides, I think most of you guys are probably Anti-War, and Tony Blair sort of ran circles around the "MTV youth" he was talking with, so you'll probably not agree with the points made either.

Dylan sold out to Victoria's Secret?! Wow, I would never have imagined it, not in a million years, he's actually not gay.

So, we blew up a bomb to show Iraq how bad we could fuck them up, this one is a non-nuke too. Perhaps this time the other side will heed the warning.

Well, St. Patty's day is no longer the day for war, so drink up this monday, drink up.

Until 12 more days.

March 1st, 2003
I know I said this last month, but lets hope this month is better than the last, at least weather wise.

If anybody wants to invest in a jukebox system that makes sense email me.

I have a headache, I am getting over being pissed off, no I'm not. Yeah I am, no, yes, no.

Yes.

I spy with my little eye something that curses way too much, and fuckball is a much cooler word than fucktard.

Now, I'm relatively non-hateful, despite being accused of hating homosexuals, women, jews, and anyone else who wants in. But seriously, I generally don't hate people, but for some reason, my list of people I do hate, or just genuinely dislike, has grown 100% this week.

Its none of you though, yes it is, no its not.

So, Brian's share of the site has split between him and a new person, Victor White. Its not in his bio, but Vic met Brian through blind internet dating, we wish them both the best of luck.

No.

Well, just remember, just because I rock, doesn't mean I'm made out of stone, words to live by, ah yes, words.

February 27th, 2003
Well, the birthday is over, just under a year to feel old again. Either way, award for best birthday card I received this year goes to Katie, not that I received many, I'm looking at you (insert name).

Speaking of awards, I've decided to give out Red Rose, Black awards, well, just one. So here it is, award for Outstanding Performance by a Updater goes to...Norah Jones? Man, this girl is winning everything. Hell, she even won five bucks off of me yesterday.

The hard rock dude got kicked off American Idol, he'll have to got back to not selling out now, not that any of you watch American Idol.

However, if you do, this guy who just moved on looks like a tan Justin, with dark hair. I think they are going for a particular look.

Only thing worse than the grammys are the people who take them too seriously. Honestly, who really gives a fuck that the Stones never won an album of the year? Shit, I wasn't alive for most of those years, I sure as hell am not taking the critics words for it, they hated Zepplin. Hindsight is 20/20, perhaps in the mid 60's Toto did have the best album, or whatever, just fucking get over it.

Now, I gave up my thugging days long before anybody here knew me, well except for Brian, and if Dan is reading this. However, I picked up the 50 Cent (or fiddy cent) album, and I must say its pretty good. Now, if you dont' like rap, this album isn't going to get you to change your mind, if you love rap, you probably own it since its breaking records and all. If you sort of like rap, if you can name more acts than 2pac, BIGGIE, Hammer, WuTang, Roots, or Eminem, then you'd probably like the album. Hell, if you hate JA Rule, you'll love this album, since fiddy makes fun of him a lot. Either way, I got in on my birthday and "In Da Club" has a special meaning due to that.

Oooh, I also picked up Trick Daddy, Cash Money, some old Too Short, Irv Gotti as well, but like I said, my thugging (thuggin') days are over. No I didn't, yeah, yeah I didn't. Realy, no.

Well, time for lunch, having some Payayayayayayas.

February 24th, 2003
IchhchhT's My Birchhchchthday!. You know, if China could talk, it would have more interesting things to say than you, or whatever.

And to ring in my new birthday, Norah Jones won every possible grammy last night, congratulations.

Well, ever since I was young, I dreamt of the day I turned 23, and couldn't wait until I could get at at 4am for work and go to sleep at 10pm again for the next day of work. Well, no more dreaming Joshua, today is your day.

I'm no fool, nosiree, I'm gonna live to be 23. Yes, I reached the first age that Jiminy Cricket sang about in that cartoon thing he had on the disney channel or wherever back in the day, not that anybody will remember because you all too fucking young.

Well, another year to feel old, so I have to get my youthful indiscretions in as soon as I can.

Back to the Grammy's, Fred Durst thinks everybody is in "agreeance" over the war. Now, for those of you who don't speak Moron (a dialect of Dorkanese) that means, agreement, or just agree. Which is all sorts of fucked up since the country is split like 60/40 in favor of War. Hmm, perhaps Durst was actually speaking a form of the "cumrag" language, but then I wouldn't be able to translate for you.

More in the Grammy's, I don't particularly think they did bad, but I wasn't too impressed by the Joe Strummer tribute, Springstein tried to hard to not sound like himself. Actually, Van Zandt I think seemed the most natural there.

Katie, "Open Your Heart." Well, I don't mean "open your heart" in some weird way, I mean thats the name of the Madonna song I couldn't think of. Now that I remember the name of the song I am depressed because the only reason I brought it up was to describe the Singing Telegram from the movie Clue.

Well, so long.

February 23rd, 2003
Happy Birthday Eve, Josh. I know, its kind of weak but deal with it. I'm looking forward to this birthday, because afterwards I'll have a whole year before I start feeling old again.

Either way, mother nature hates me because last week I was to supposed to have relatives over for a birthday party, and it snowed, so its today. Today its raining so its gonna only be like 5 people. Mother Natures Son must be a bastard child because Mother Nature is a dirty little slut, yeah I said it.

Quit yellin Hellen, there's no telling I'm gellin like a fellon, want some melon? Yes, I know the commercial blows, but these gel pad for sneakers are pretty damn comfortable, not comfortable to start rhyming uncontrollably, but comfortable nonetheless.

I got shaving cream and a razor, who's in with me?

Snow time like the present, yup one more, snow's almost gone, and now I am too.

February 21st, 2003
Guess who is visiting their old Alma Mater, or however the hell you spell it. Yes I am. Rowan watch out, your native son is back. Not sure what that meant, but since I'm getting older, its time to act more childish. I figure before I see "Old School" I should try to act it out.

Well, make new friends but keep the old, because eventually you'll realize your new friends suck, and you need to go back to the old ones. That's a joke there, don't get mad, you guys are still safe in the #2 friend group, well for now.

So what are you all doing tomorrow, anything? Guys...?

I'm changing my mind on the war, give Iraq more time to disarm, apparently 10 years isn't quite long enough. Hell, they'll have to sell their weapons to keep paying those suicide bomber's families which apparently doesn't bother anybody, I'm sure Sadaam is a good man and it will all work itself out.

Sheryl Crow block a "Pro-American" rally at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? I'm not sure of the details, but if she just blocked a rally thats shit. For or against, you should be for allowing people to express their minds.

Later.

February 20th, 2003
Thursday's payday, hot shit. Not that I get paid much, I get paid in "benefits." No, really, I make only $150 but health and dental yadda yadda yadda. It sucks, but after March 2nd, I might be breaking my leg at work, "vacation."

For those that know me, you know I'm a pretty sarcastic person, who never really gets mad. However, for some reason online, everybody thinks I'm mad or I hate them, you dumb mother fucking assholes.

So, Justin disses Britney in his new video, scandal in this months Tiger Beat.

Fuck the French, seriously, fuck them. If you know a French person, punch them in the mouth. The good thing is there will be no proof you hit them, since there is already a good chance their teeth were messed up. Tell them they smell bad too. Thats probably the reason the French perfume is the most costly. Oh, and fuck them for selling bottle water and starting that trend, and their hairy armpitted women, ah just fuck them.

Sorry, I just hate the French, and luckily the feeling is probably mutual.

So, the movie "Old School" is out, or out soon. Looks funny, Will Ferrel is a TKE, my fraternity, so the movie is bound to be funny. On Comedy Central they did a fake "MTV Cribs" will Will Ferrel showing his old fraternity house as though it was his mansion or whatnot, funny shit.

Saw parts of Chappelle Show last night, funny stuff. Problem is its only 30 minutes, they should get rid of the musical act. Now, Talib and Mos Def were good, didn't see Fat Joe or Busta Rhymes, but if I look at their stats, good chance they sucked. Either way, 30 minutes isn't enough for a comedy show and a musical act.

Snowbody knows, the trouble I feel. Snowbody knows but Jesus. Sorry, but they will probably keep coming until the snow melts. That should be motivation enough for the sun to come out.

B.O.B.

February 19th, 2003
Raise your hand if you got fucked at worked today, not in a good way. Keep them up Josh.

Eh, anyway, that is not your worry, sorry to bore you.

Snow sucks, sure it was cool as a kid, but now it only means shoveling, and more shoveling a day after you broke your back shoveling the first time, and then probably at least one more time of shoveling. Don't even get me started on clearing out the way for the mailbox shoveling. Seriously don't, I'll ramble and it will get boring-er.

Five days until your best buddy and friend's casual aquaintance, me, turns 23. Now I can do all the things my age held me back from doing like, um, saying I'm 23.

Does anybody here remember "Flash Gordon" the movie. For the love of God, please somebody tell me they remember that film. Not that it was any good or anything, but man, seriously. Psh, pohg, tsst, psh, geesh, pfff.

Nobody ever answered my question about who Stella is, anybody?

Snowbody's gonna break my stride, sorry, all this snow and being locked up in the house is giving me Brian's humor.

Sincerely,
Olive You

February 18th, 2003
Snow snow go away, come back another day.

Holy shit, it worked. Oh, actually, nevermind, it didn't. Shit.

I live a mile away from my job, and I got stuck three times on the way there this morning. So many people called out that I had to do somebody else's work. You know the weather is bad when at UPS (or any job I imagine) they are not mad at you, even if you do as bad as a job I did this morning.

The snow is so high here, we have to shovel a path for my dog to go out and take a shit, its higher than him. It was kind of funny seeing him trying to piss while buried in snow.

I'm sorry, was that mean, yeah that was mean.

In a week yours truly turns 23, time to hit the night life. See, 20 doesn't really count as a 20-something because you can't drink, 21 doesn't count because your so focused on being able to drink thats all your worried about. 22 doesn't count because, well, your still focused on just drinking. So 23 is the start of that 20-something that was made cool on "Friends," even though they are now in their 20s. I have to start working on my "air of indifference" and shit like that, eh whatever.

Well, since we've all been snowed in for the last three days, there really isn't anything new to say. I saw the last ten minutes to Flash Gordon today, its not the same when you realize the worst James Bond ever is in it. Last time I saw it, I think I was too young to know that those stories are fake.

Well, nice to snow you. Get it? Nevermind.

February 16th, 2003
Well, we're back in black here. Valentine's Day is over and it is now the most depressing its been all year outside. Fucking snow. Possible State of Emergency tomorrow. I might have off of work, and that doesn't happen at UPS much.

Olive Garden, eh.

Well, amazingly, not that much has happened since the Big V-Day, then again, its really not the most exciting holiday anyway. I'm sure Hallmark and Russel Stover made their money just fine and all, good for them.

Um, I'm going to see Audioslave, cool.

That's all for now...or is it?

February 14th, 2003
Typed all in red for Valentine's Day, aren't I the cute one?

That's the problem Katie, they are all bitches, I want the non-bitches all on me.

Well, if you haven't seen on the news part of the site, Red Rose Black is offering to all those lonely ladies out there, volunteer Valentines. For the ladies only, since only Brian and I are eligible for this service, as the other two are claimed already. Who knows however, maybe Brian will able to fulfil "special requests."

For a day full of romance, whether its forced on us by Hallmark, or truly genuine, I'm always shocked to realize that there really aren't any Valentine's Day songs, the only one I can think of is "My Funny Valentine" which isn't the most romantic song. Then again, I suppose every love song counts as a Valentine's Day song.

Once again, any Valentineless ladies out there need one, Red Rose Black is volunteering our services as part of our reinvestment into the community. Satisfaction Guaranteed and we reserved the right to not meet every pathetic, I mean lonely lady out there.

Click Here to join up for this free service, and its available all year round.

Well, there are other things on my mind today perhaps, however it's Valentine's Day so I'll save them all for later. Happy Valentine's Day and good love, I mean luck.
February 13th, 2003
Well, we might get a foot of snow this weekend, better cross your fingers about that Sleater Kinney show Brian, might not happen.

Ironically, as Brian is going to his Anti-War Protest, so am I. However, I'm protesting Anti-War. Now that's a little joke there. However, if you know of a Pro War Rally, or a Anti War Contest, or whatever let me know. There is just something about a guy who murders his own people, supresses freedom, supports terrorism, and is aggressively trying to be a threat to every major nation that makes me think perhaps we should get rid of the guy.

Who are we to do that? Well, we are the stronger ones. I know that sounds dick, but honestly, we are the ones who have shown we can weild the power without destroying the world. While perhaps there have been times when boundaries have been exceeded, never have we posed a threat to the rest of the world as aggressors.

Enough of that, weird thing is Brian told me he is actually protesting the card game War, not an actual war, but he plans to leave that part out because it doesn't sound as cool. Chill Brian, War is a cool card game, takes too long, but cool nonetheless.

I'm starting to suck in this Dylan Pool thing, I don't even care anymore, as long as I don't take 2nd. 1st is cool, so is 3rd, 4th, or 5th, just please not second.

So... Bin Laden is still alive, that sucks.

Well, no more.

February 12th, 2003
Things suck today, no reason, they just do.

Nico, wasn't it always cool to think Moby sucks?

Well, nothing happened in the last day, so I'm just saying hi, hi.

February 11th, 2003
Duuuude, you're getting an "L"

I'm not sure what is worse, the news reporting that the Dell guy in a pothead, or that we are too.

Did anybody see that Micheal Jackson special on TV, I didn't and I'm still creeped out by it.

I have a delayed opening for college, I know OCC is almost like a high school, but seriously, this is going too far.

Who is the hell is Stella, and why does she own half of Toms River? Seriously.

Katie, don't bother apologizing, it doesn't mean anything if you don't mean it, and that goes double if you don't even use your real name while doing it. Besides, I have no desire to be big, or famous, just to be adored by many, I want to be smacking them off me.

Well, not physically smacking, more like gently showing them the door.

Huh?

Oh and Happy Belated Birthday Danny, Mr. 21, I would have said this yesterday on the site, but I wasn't able to update. Its nice to know your brother remembered, huh?

In recent news, American Latinos have surpasses African Americans as America's largest ethnic minority. This is bad news for both racists and civil rights leaders because the headlines "Fight between Latin and White" or "Bring Latins and Whites Together" don't really grab the attention the whole "Black/White" thing did. Besides, the Latinos just sort of slid in there, I mean shit the African American really earned that number 2 spot, and don't get me wrong, life isn't always punch and pie for Latinos, but we all know who got it worse. Either way, Congratulations Team Latino, your prize is February, which will now be Latin History month instead of Black History Month. Yup, not many people know February is actually "Largest Minority History Month," winner take all, you can't both get one. Just look behind your back Latinos, Team Hasidic Jew is coming in close, they have quite of bit in their farm system ready to take over.

So, to all of the other white people out there, because of the new changes, the rule is now lock your car door or switch the sides of your purse when a Latino walks by, not a black guy, they're okay now.

I bet you that came out a lot more racist than it did sarcastic, fuck it.

France and Germany, only weeks ago thought to be anti-war, have just proved themselves to just be Pro-Pansy. Even pro-war people understand not wanting to fight a war, necessary or not, but not defending another country? France and Germany blocked the UN from passing a UN resolution to protect Turkey from Iraqi missle attacks, so apparently its not about being peacefull, its about being pussies.

You know its bad when a lot of people on the left are even saying France is more worried about the oil in Iraq than we are.

Disclaimer--Everything mentioned above is sarcastic, don't anything personal like certain people do everytime. Everything is just for laughs. Except for the France thing, they really are just a bunch of pussies, smelly ones too.

Watch "Out Cold," its funny.

Until Then.

February 9th, 2003
This site is driving me crazy. For ten goddamned minutes, I couldn't update because of some error, so instead I sign the guestbook. Right now, before I'm about to sign off, I try again, and it works, after I signed the guestbook.

Well, since not many people read this site, and nobody reads the guestbook, I'll just rewrite everything.

To correct a misconception at the Diner today, yours truly is the overall leader on the Dylan team. Rick was 1st for the show, but Mr. Consistency here has the top overall score, Dylan is not senile Katie, he is just rediscovering his Jewish obligations.

Also if you read Katie's update, she mentions that both Nico and Brian will be adored by many someday. Now, I know my exemption from that list wasn't a personal assault, but seriously, what about Joshua. Granted, I wasn't playing a new song of mine at the time, which is what prompted the remarks, but your reading the words of a soon adored man. Hell, it won't be from music, just from longevity. Longevity from what, well, I don't know yet, or perhaps I do, but don't feel comfortable saying. Either way, the Joshua Fanclub is up and running, and growing, today dozens, tomorrow millions.

To join that club just fill out the Groupie Application.

Speaking of my adoration, I'm now a driver for UPS, well on Saturdays. This job gives me an official UPS uniform, or "browns" as they are called in the industry. If you don't know, in a recent survey a UPS driver is in the top 5 women's fantasies, I forgot what number though. The interesting thing is, only UPS drivers, not Fed Ex or Post Office, apparently the brown uniforn is part of the fantasy. So in a few Saturdays, a few lonely unappreciated housewives will be joining the Fanclub, wink wink.

There's more, but for another time, another time.

February 5th, 2003
I would like to reiterate that I don't hate Brian, and anything I say mean about him is either a joke, or not about him. So anyway, I fucking hate his guts and hope he dies a slow painful death. Seriously, thats just a joke.

What did the man say to Pete Townsend on the beach? Get out of my son(sun)! Oh I kid, looks like the guy might be innocent, but its Britian, so that means anything can happen. Truthfully though, in their heyday, you know damn well they banged some underaged girls, all those rock groups did.

You know what, American Idol isn't that bad, it's actually kind of funny when they make fun of them. Because even though some of them do so bad, they have no clue to why they are being bashed.

Life with Bonnie is kind of funny too, so is A.U.S.A. Sorry, I watched a lot of TV last night.

Brian makes all of these lists, so here is a TOP 5 of Sports Music Songs:

5. Wild Thing (Just because of the Major League Movie)
4. Basketball by Curtis Blow
3. Sultan of Swing by Dire Straits
2. Centerfield by John Fogerty

and

1. Super Bowl Shuffle by the '85 Chicago Bears...of course.

Thats all.

February 6th, 2003
Just checked the Dylan Pool, once again, this fucker is in 2nd place.

He called himself fucker, maybe he hates himself? hmmm

So maybe it will snow like shit tomorrow again, for the 12th time since December started, what a fucking horrible winter.

Either way, thats all for today.

February 4th, 2003
I'm not really updating today, it just has come to my attention that people misunderstood what I meant the other day. My little rant on Nelson Mandela had nothing to do with Brian. I was pissed at Nelson, not Brian, the other comment I made about Brian was obviously a joke, and he knew that. Either way, proofread if you must, since that Nelson Mandela rant in no way even seemed to be about Brian, but either way, sorry if anybody took it that way.

February 3rd, 2003
If you haven't read what Nico put in the guestbook, there is new evidence that looks good for Pete Townsend, something about he contact the authorities about the child porn etc. And it said there is as of yet no proof he looked at child porn itself, except whatever was on the pages he was researching, which is good, because I was led to believe he had child porn saved on the computer, which would be hard to defend, even if it is research, there is no need to keep it.

The paper website looks a little shady, but here's hoping it true, read the article here.

February 3rd, 2003
Since Brian is bringing up today in history, today in 1870 slavery was abolished, sorry Buddy Holly, but I think you are taking second place today.

Brian, I signed up, and I did win once.

I finally saw, "The Royal Tennebaums" last night, and don't get me wrong, it was a good movie, but I thought it was supposed to be a comedy. Comedies are the ones you laugh at, right?

Its Black History Month and speaking of Black History, where have you been Gerry? I hear you are 21 now, if so call me, I'll buy you a drink. And since I'm politically correct, I'll be you an African American Russian.

Thinking of it now, I ripped on Mandela right at the start of Black History Month, well, the quote was from January, so it doesn't count.

Well, New Haven was cool, but the Toll on the Verazano Bridge (we got lost on the way home) is so much expensive. Seriously $7, the bridge isn't that nice. My Grandfather (and Brian's) help build that bridge, so you'd think we'd get a discount.

Now, lets say you go see some friends one weekend, and the next morning they ask, "When you get here," as though they never knew you arrived last night. Does that make you an extremely forgettable person, or does it make them reckless drunks? Just wondering.

Either way, later.

February 1st, 2003
Geesh, Brian can't take a joke. Tell Brian I was joking about that Dylan rant, seriously, dimwitted fuck.

As Brian said, we send our condolences out to the perished astronaughts. It doesn't matter what your opinion about the space program is, and in fact your an asshole if you even bring it up on lets say your website, asshole.

Yes, I know I'm picking on Brian, fuck it.

And fuck Nelson Mandela, yeah I said it. Fuck him, and fuck you for saying fuck me for saying fuck you. Seriously, good job with the world AIDS thing, I mean it, but fucking think when you say shit, you dumb mother fucker. Are you trying to negate everything else you have done in your life. Have some fucking respect. Bush, love him or hate him, is nowhere near a fucking holocaust. 6 Million dead jews plus about 5 to 6 million gentiles dead is a whole different ballgame. By comparing Bush's actions to a holocaust you are belittling the terror that was the holocaust. Yes you fucking are. And since I know people accuse me of making shit up, here is his quote:
"If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America." Speaking at the International Women's Forum, Mandela said, "One power with a president who has no foresight -- who cannot think properly -- is now wanting to plunge the world into a holocaust."
CNN>COM
You have become clueless, and indifferent to the plights that do not affect people you worry about, you are an asshole, fuck you.

I know I wasn't even trying to be funny today, fuck it. Seriously, how bad is it that Nelson fucking Mandela pissed me off.



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